Building Trust Through Communication

For many, the need to seek legal representation comes in the wake of a tumultuous, painful, or otherwise challenging experience. People seeking counsel are likely to be stressed, uncertain, and in a potentially vulnerable headspace as they look to legal professionals for their expertise. Strong communication skills are key to conveying knowledge and trustworthiness to anyone, and especially those experiencing heightened stress. Outside of client relationships, clear communication between colleagues creates a more productive and healthier professional environment. Communication skills help us to avoid confusion, foster transparency and trust, and be more productive in our interactions.[1] When communication is intentional, it not only fosters trust, but mitigates the risk of spreading stressors or secondary trauma to others. It is not enough to know what you are talking about, have a plan, or have good intentions. To foster trust via communication, focus on being intentional in its structure and hone your ability to be present and attuned to others.

Intentionally Creating Structure in Communication

A foundational aspect of building trust in communication is setting clear expectations at the formation of a relationship, be that with colleagues or clients. This may include what you are able to discuss, where you can discuss it (in office, via email, phone, etc.), and with whom. This should also include what people can expect regarding the frequency of communication, your availability and response times, and options folks have during the times you are unavailable. Be realistic and comprehensive: trust is built on giving a clear idea of expectations and then allowing future interactions to demonstrate consistency.

Building off the set foundation, future interactions should include clear expectations and guardrails when necessary. Start communication with checking in on capacity. This may sound like asking if they have time, the headspace, and (if applicable) if they are in a safe environment to discuss the matter at hand. This demonstrates that you are being mindful of the other person’s state of mind and situation and gives them the opportunity to grant you consent to move the discussion forward. Without checking in before diving in, people may not have the ability to evaluate their own capacity and you risk overloading them or fostering resentment.

Adding structure and intentionality in communication can also build trust by creating predictable communication patterns. Clients may come to expect that you begin communication by gaining their consent and setting expectations, followed by sharing content, and concluding the discussion. When sharing content, you can consider adding structure by creating a plan if someone needs to take a break, and how you will honor their request for space or a break if necessary. This may sound like, “If this feels like too much information or becomes overwhelming, just let me know and I will stop and we can resume our discussions when you’re ready.” This demonstrates that you do not want to dysregulate those you are speaking with, and that you will accommodate their needs if they arise. Adding structure to the conclusion of a discussion includes providing a summary and confirming that both parties are walking away with the same understanding. For example, “Today we discussed ‘topic’, and moving forward we will focus on ‘plan’. Does that track with your understanding as well?” This fosters clarity and a shared perspective.

Being Present and Attuned

Emotions are not the antithesis of logic and believing that anyone makes decisions or communicates without any emotional influence is a fallacy. Emotions guide our interactions, decisions, motivation, interpersonal relationships, and learning: whether we are aware of them or not. They guide our communication in both how we share when we are speaking, and how we interpret and understand while we are listening. Do not pretend they are a non-factor: rather, hone your skills with emotional intelligence to gain self and relational awareness and improve your interactions. Emotional intelligence can be thought of simply as the awareness of our own emotions (self-awareness), the emotions of others (social awareness), and how well one is able to manage both (self-regulation and relationship management). Self-awareness allows you to communicate with enhanced clarity as you are more cognizant of how you come across to others, and you are aware of how your emotional state may influence how you send, or receive, a message.[2] Foster your self-awareness in communication by first checking with your own emotional state prior to an interaction and consider how this may influence you. If you feel your emotional state will hinder your ability to be an effective communicator, then pause and take time to first center and regulate yourself before sharing. Think about what you are saying, but also how you are delivering it: your tone and body language. Within the workplace, consider how your approach will influence a sense of teamwork and shared understanding. A qualitative review of the research indicates that strong emotional intelligence skills significantly impact team performance, emotional competence, and attitudes towards the workplace.[3]  

When someone is explaining, or providing details, the mind can jump into problem solving mode. This unfortunately takes you out of the moment, reducing how well you are listening and decreasing your ability to be attuned to the speaker. Social awareness and relationship management require you to be observant and responsive to what you notice while you are in the listening role. For instance, when an attorney is not being present and listening carefully during client interactions, they risk being dismissive of their client’s experience, reducing the likelihood that their decision making will be responsive and inclusive for that client.[4] They may also miss signals that the client needs or wants to share more information.[5] Being aware of their emotions provides insight into what is important to them as you manage their case.

To become a better listener, focus first on being present in the moment as an observer of the speaker. Look at their body language: do they appear distracted, stressed, tense, or guarded? Listen to how they are speaking: are they speaking quickly, jumping from topic to topic, or seemingly forgetful? Making these observations will help you better understand the speaker’s emotional state, allowing you to be responsive to them. For example, if the speaker seems to be jumping between topics while fidgeting excessively, you can be curious about their possible stress level and check to see if they would like to take a moment or if they feel comfortable sharing with you presently. To help you remember to be present and attuned while you are in the listening role, simply ask yourself, “What am I seeing? What am I hearing?” Remember that someone trustworthy is someone you feel sees, hears, and understands you.

Trust is not inherent, but it can be fostered, beginning with how you navigate interpersonal dynamics. Being intentional in the ways you structure communication and utilize emotional intelligence skills will help you demonstrate your ability to attune to others and your overall trustworthiness.

[1] Wahid, R., Halim, S., & Halim, T. (2024). Positive communication in the workplace. Migration Letters, 21(8).

[2] Jadha, T. & Gupta, S. K. (2014). Global communication skills and its relationship with emotional intelligence. American Journal of Management, 14(4).

[3] Coronado-Maldonado, I. & Benítez-Márquez, M. (2023). Emotional intelligence, leadership, and work teams: A hybrid literature review. National Library of Medicine, 9(10). doi: 10.1016/j.heliyon.2023.e20356

[4] Heavin, H. & Keet, M. (2021). Client-centered communication: How effective lawyering requires emotional intelligence, active listening, and client choice. Cardazo Journal of Conflict Resolution, 22(2).

[5] Ibid.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Maggie Kapitan is a Clinical Coordinator for the Colorado Lawyer Assistance Program (COLAP) and Publications Liaison for the Colorado Lawyer Assistance Program, is the coordinating editor of this wellness series. She earned her M.S. in Human Development and Family Studies with a specialization in marriage and family therapy from Purdue University Northwest. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in the state of Colorado. Ms. Kapitan has clinical experience in the treatment of PTSD, trauma processing, mood disorders, and relationship issues for individuals, couples and families. Her experience also includes providing higher education in human development.

Contact COLAP for free and confidential assistance at 303-986-3345 and info@coloradolap.org.